Happy New Year everyone! Okay, so I’m 11 days late, but let’s be honest, blogging wasn’t really my thing in 2014 and I have to start somewhere, right?! 

I NEED to do more with my blog in 2015. So I signed up for  the #YourEduStory blogging challenge earlier this week thanks to the ever-wonderful Jo-Ann Fox. And while I don’t know that I’ll be able to complete the challenge (sanely) every single week, my personal challenge is to do it every two weeks at the very least.

Week 1, which I’m already posting late for, suggests that we write about our “one word” for 2015. Tia Henriksen and Tracy Cramer have also issued a similar challenge for my school district. The basic premise is to choose a word that we try to live by each day for the entirety of the year.

Initially, I began thinking that my word for the year should be “change”. Change is something that is constantly happening as I push myself, my students, and the teachers I support to try new things.

But change didn’t seem like a good enough word. After all, it was the attitude I took toward change that was the important aspect to focus on. With that thought in mind, I landed on the word flexibility for 2015. 

Flexibility works in so many ways for me: 

In the classroom: One of the best things a good teacher can do is roll with the changes and make them meaningful for the students. An authentic sidetrack can become a very powerful learning opportunity and I want to continue getting better at finding strength in this part of my flexibility. 

Mentorship: Having a student teacher means that I need to spend a lot of time mentoring which doesn’t always land at a specific meeting or collaborative time. Often, questions are at “just-in-time” moments that require flexibility and focused attention. 

Coaching: Needs of teachers are so varied across our staff. In order to reach everyone, I need to be empathetic and flexible to each and every skill level.

Personally: I have been striving for more social time as I continue to balance the myriad of professional commitments that I have taken on. When opportunities to see my friends have arisen, I’ve been taking advantage of them and letting professional work wait instead of taking rainchecks… and that feels good! That needs to keep going even when I get caught up in the midterm mess.

So there you have it: my first post of 2015, and here’s to many more! Happy New Year!

I've been having an immense struggle this year. It's a real case of FOMO, pedagogy-style.

I've been stopping, observing, and listening in awe of what my colleagues are doing with their students.  I've been watching, sometimes helplessly, as opportunities to do more amazing things with my kids pass me by. Or even more than that, seeing strategies that could make my current practice better. As I see all of the incredible demonstrations of learning going on in the classrooms on Twitter, I can't help but feel like I'm not performing to my full potentials as a classroom teacher... But I simply cannot take on any more commitments this year.

I know I'm hard on myself. I know that we are our own worst critics. I know it's a marathon, not a sprint. I'm only a third-year teacher, after all; I have a lot of career ahead! So I'm going to say from the outset of this post that I know it needs to stop. But I think that the idea behind this is worth sharing.

When this feeling of FOMO is happening, I become increasingly aware of the things, both big and little, that are not working in my classroom. I've become so acutely observant of this fact that it sometimes feels torturous to deliver any semblance of poor pedagogy. However, I cannot address every one of those "things" because it's just not feasible to do so at this very moment. Maybe it will happen by the end of the year, but I cannot address it with the immediacy that I wish to. 

For example, I still deliver math drills in my Grade 3/4 room... Guilty as charged. In fact, I delivered one today. Here's my thinking:

• Is this the best way for students to showcase their learning in a student-centred way? No. 
  
• Does this method lend itself to some, if any, formative assessment on procedural numeracy strategies? Not likely.
• Is my students' thinking visible? No. 
  
• Is it helping them to reinforce some form of immediacy and procedural knowledge for their future in education as far as numeracy skills are concerned? Kind of. 
  
• But if I think it's so wrong, why am I doing it in the first place? In our math lessons, there is immense difficulty with fact computation for several students. Some need a lot of extra practice with the basics. The drills only take up 5 minutes of the week.
• Can I fix this all RIGHT NOW? ... No. 
  
• Why can't I fix it right now? Because I'm trying to fix other things in my classroom that take priority over this issue.
  

Welcome to the hyper-analytical cycle that occurs in my brain. This is a problem. And I've been reflecting on this... A lot. I'm not looking for an answer to fix that example I just provided. I just can't say "yes" to accommodating that right now. It's not a priority over other things that I can effect and make change on in bigger ways.

I used to think that people were weak if they didn't say "Yes" to cool opportunities for their classroom that crossed their path. I'm now learning that prioritization and balance are one of the most important skill sets that an educator can possess. I am highly considerate of the things that I say "yes" or "no" to now because I have to be. But it shouldn't take a forced hand to consider that balance for oneself. 

This post is intended as a confession that my personal skills in this area are weak. You just cannot do it all. I'm building those prioritization skills up as I balance work, grad school, extracurricular commitments like the EdTech Mentorship Network, presentations, #bcedchat, and sharing my classroom. Oh, and that little thing called a personal life. :)

In closing, I'm sure this is something everyone already knows, but it never hurts to be reminded of:

It's okay to say "No". It's just not always easy to.

Oh, man.  September is over.  Queue the music.  Breathe.  ... Right?

This first month of school has brought with it many adjustments in my world.  I'm at a new school, teaching a new grade, working with a new staff on technology goals, and getting used to the workload involved with two graduate courses. Needless to say, September has been a bit of a whirlwind.  Mix those together with all of the things I was already doing and that is a recipe for an imbalanced disaster.  A month later, I'm just starting to finally feel like I'm on top of these new demands.  My absence from blogging has been due to my attempts to normalize my new realities.  Something had to go on the back burner for the month.  But now, I'm in control.... for the moment.

People often ask me, "How do you have time for all of that extra stuff?" These questions always spin me into a state of reflection.  Of course, I've asked myself the same thing.  How do I have time?  Is my life in a perpetual state of imbalance?  Am I happy even though I work practically every waking moment of the day? Is burnout inevitable? 

If you've ever been in a similar situation, you'll relate that reflecting on this is extremely difficult.  When you're so entrenched in the status quo, it's hard to see how far you can bend before you break.  While connecting to new people and ideas is important, it's also important to take a step back to understand what you're capable of and why it matters to you.  That's what fuels my passion -- the "why" I do it, not the "how".

So here's why it all matters to me:

1. I absolutely adore my students and want to deliver the best educational experience they can possibly have.
   
2. I love learning.  I love finding out new information.  Between my PLN and the MET Graduate program, I am consistently forced outside my comfort zone, and that's a good thing.
3. Growth is essential in our profession.  If you don't set out to improve yourself, no one is going to do it for you.
4. I am passionate about meaningful technology integration in the classroom.  It needs to be relevant for the future, not the present, and certainly not the past. 
5. Throughout this journey, I've made incredible connections who have given me consistently overwhelming support every step of the way. I want to pay it forward and inspire others to connect.
   
   

 With those things in mind, I can confidently say that I'm very happy with my life and the time that I dedicate to my work and studies.  Should I be making more time for other things?  Sure.  I'd argue that most educators could use a little more balance.  But just as September did, this, too, shall pass.