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A Tech Teacher on a Mission

How the strike defeated me... and the healing process that follows

9/18/2014

22 Comments

 
This is a post I said I’d never write. I said I’d never include politics in my blog. Ever.

However, the fact stands that my blog is also a place for my reflection on my professional practice, and this is a situation in which I feel I cannot silently sit and merely internalize what is going on. I would actually define this post more as political impact on me as an individual than anything that would define my political views, though. So, here it goes:

This BC Teachers’ Strike defeated me. I say this as I look back on many months of consciously pulling away from social media, from blogging, from doing better work in my classroom. It has pulled me away from trying new lessons with engaging tools, from collaborating with other educators, and from personally feeling gratified with my choice of career. It has, in a phrase, temporarily deflated my passion toward teaching.

This job action experience, which has stretched back since early April of this year, began to highlight the ways in which our government devalued our profession. Now, don’t get me wrong, these were facts that I was already well aware of. So you don’t like teachers? Great, that’s your call... Moving right along.

But when those facts and opinions continue to get shoved in your face day in and day out, or it affects your job every day you start to feel pretty low. Oh, and the whole letting-down-kids, public ridicule, lock-out, not-getting-paid, piece? Yeah. Pretty low.

My biggest problems:
  1. I had no control over anything that was happening to my students, my colleagues, or myself.
  2. I was addicted to reading about it. 

I read everything I could get my hands on… about all of the things I couldn’t control. The latest move by the BCTF, the latest press conference by the government, opinion blogs, news articles, you name it. I would silently chastise media for focusing so much on wages and signing bonuses (which I could give a rip about) and their lack of focus on class size & composition issues, especially in the beginning. I would be glued to the #bced Twitter feed in all of its disgusting BCTF-vs.-Liberal-troll: Who’s-gonna-win-tonight glory. It was one of those things that you just shouldn’t look at.

But I couldn’t look away.

The things I read silenced me. Mean things. Nasty things. Lumping teachers all into the same, greedy, only-6-hour-workdays, only-work-9-months-per-year, lazy category. The worst part is… I  began to believe them.

Despite working on the professional development of others for much of the summer, I did very little to professionally develop myself. This was unusual for me. I started getting blocks in my thinking patterns every time I tried to imagine new lesson ideas in my head. My motivation for the program design work I had set up for myself at the end of last year began to evaporate, and quickly.

I started to quiet myself. Slow down. I did very little to add value to the online communities that I continue to hold in high regard. The social media outlets that I used to share prolifically to, I do no more. My blog archives became relatively empty when compared to the same time last year. I had nothing more to give, lest I be criticized. False hope pervaded every turn that we would be back again soon. I was hurt.

They defeated me. And I let them do it.

This week, real hope showed its face in BC education. Naturally, things started to change as the need to be prepared for the school year kicked back in. I have started reworking my grand plans that I hatched at the end of last school year. I am becoming excited once again about designing new programs for my classroom. I am cautiously regaining my optimism toward my career choice. The future certainly looks brighter. The time to start healing is now.

As we wait for the results for the potential ratification of an agreement, I can say I have begun to do just that. I know so many teachers in BC are hurting right now and that I am not alone. 

If you are not yet feeling on the road to recovery, join this challenge with me: take note of that first moment this school year where you burst with absolute joy in your classroom, school, or district because of your job. Write down a gratitude list for those moments that remind you why you love your career. Even for just the first week. 

I am using this strategy to heal the wounds; as deep as they have become, they shall heal. I look forward to sharing my list very soon to continue healing with BC educators… together.
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22 Comments
Jonathan link
9/18/2014 03:14:05 pm

An honest and vulnerable post Victoria. I share your feelings of being "beat down" by this strike, but also the optimism of meeting a new group of students! From my experience of strikes over the past dozens years, it will take some time to heal; but your passion and love for what you do will come through again and you will be stronger for it :) As Andy Hargreaves says, "There's always something to complain about, but it's the resilient people who turn problems into opportunities". This is our opportunity to continue to innovate, create, and expand our horizons.

Reply
Victoria Olson link
9/18/2014 04:09:21 pm

Thanks for your kind words and insights, Jonathan. I know that we will all heal eventually and become stronger as a result of this mess. It's very hard to admit that to yourself when you're in the midst of it, though. Reframing the perspective to one of gratitude was something that helped me this summer to refocus my energy positively and I am looking forward to doing that in my job, and hopefully with some colleagues, as well. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Reply
D'Alice Marsh
9/18/2014 03:16:42 pm

You've taken the words from my heart & my head. You echo all my feelings and sentiments.

I must share, my first smiles returned to me last week with students showing up to the picket lines.

They were there looking for positive attention, looking for stability in their lives, looking for support. Little did they know, that by showing their trust in us they were reminding us how important we are to them. We are not just teachers, or babysitters, or random adults in their lives; we are who we are, caring people that will stop to buy a student some breakfast even when we are on strike and not getting paid, we are the ear that will listen to them and support them in their time of need even when we are on strike, we are the constants in their lives when there are no others.

These students are the reason I am proud to say I'm a teacher!

Reply
Victoria Olson link
9/18/2014 04:13:19 pm

I'm so excited for those first moments in seeing my old students again!! Those are the things that I believe will keep me going... and every reason to keep a list of gratitude to remind me of that.

Reply
Hugh McDonald link
9/18/2014 03:31:37 pm

Victoria... Thank you for articulating this. I found myself thinking and doing a lot of the same things. Thank you for being vulnerable and helping focus on the good and wonderful things our profession offers.

Reply
Victoria Olson link
9/18/2014 04:15:46 pm

Hi Hugh, thanks for commenting and sharing my post. I am glad that you could relate to it and it is my hope that many others can, too. I felt the need to be vulnerable tonight after so many emotionally charged conversations with my colleagues this week. Hope your first days are filled with moments of gratitude!

Reply
Hugh McDonald link
9/18/2014 04:35:56 pm

Thank you Victoria!

Kenneth Durham link
9/18/2014 04:07:03 pm

I lived from May 2013 until August 2014 going through a similar situation where I was utterly defeated because of a work situation. The worst part is a great source of joy in life for me is making a difference in the lives of students and teachers and an employer jobbed me of that joy. We do return cautiously from devistation like this. Hope our road to recovery is gentle.

Reply
Victoria Olson link
9/18/2014 04:17:16 pm

Ken, thanks for your connection and kind words. Stay tuned for a post on gratitude for my job. :)

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Jesse
9/18/2014 04:12:14 pm

Wow, well put. Reading that was like a time machine for me. After teaching in Korea for a year, I started my first year of teaching in Alberta in the 2001/2002 school year- the year of the strike. I had every intent of staying to teach in Canada, but what I read, heard, felt, and eventually grew to believe about my profession during thestrike was exactly like the author's experience. Not the best introduction, and consequently, I ended up back in Korea by the next school year where I have been ever since. I am planning on returning to Canada soon, but the memories of that strike and the zeitgeist of the time make returning to public school teaching quite undesirable, even still.

Reply
Victoria Olson link
9/18/2014 04:21:14 pm

Hi Jesse,

Thanks for reading and commenting. It is interesting how different cultures value and treat the profession completely differently. I hope that when you return to Canada you can find a province in a period of labour peace. Glad you could connect with my writing.

Reply
Dave Nelson
9/19/2014 03:10:29 am

Hi Victoria: Great post...and I think it encompassed the feelings of many thousands of us across the province. I always tell kids I teach and coach their character is revealed most in the face of adversity, and how they respond to it. Same goes here...and it sounds like you're already responding well, as are many others who are already in their school buildings today preparing for next week. Because we're teachers, and that's just what we do. Have a great year!

Reply
Victoria Olson link
9/19/2014 03:34:28 am

Hi Dave,

Thanks for reading and commenting. I also agree with your point re: character and adversity. I appreciate your kind words and I hope that our colleagues are feeling rejuvenated by being back inside of their buildings today. Best of luck for a great school year!

Reply
K Mulski
9/22/2014 01:21:27 am

Powerful, powerful post, Victoria.. It is and has been a difficult time to articulate the complexities of our situation as colleagues and admitting deflation of morale is a huge vulnerable step. I commend you for sharing this because you are not alone, as many feel the same way you have. Keep reflecting as you rebuild this year, I sense that some amazing things and hopefully some
Great collaborations ( with moi!) will help us all get back on the tracks we've all
Meant to follow and cross. Xx

Reply
Yvonne Dawydiak
9/24/2014 06:21:37 am

Thank you Victoria for recording the thoughts and struggles shared by so many. This has been a difficult time. As a Faculty Advisor at UBC, I was working most of the summer yet still felt the trepidation, discouragement and sense of foreboding shared by many of my colleagues. I 'visited' the picket lines when I could but was also somewhat removed (and feeling disconcerted about it)... I am and always will be a classroom teacher and will return to the public school system following my secondment. I think your call to action is a wise one and believe strongly that our colleagues will hear it and follow suit.
For me, one of my 'moments' came this week when I heard from so many teachers that they are still excited about receiving student teachers in their classrooms this year. This speaks to the commitment and passion of those in our profession! Thanks to you and thanks to all!

Reply
Victoria Olson link
9/26/2014 05:00:20 am

Thank you for your uplifting comments about our connectedness and professionalism, Yvonne. I'm really looking forward to working with you this year.

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Adeel
9/26/2014 12:50:25 am

Hi Victoria,
We shared a MET course back a few years ago and came across your blog. Nice work! I feel your pain. My 2nd year of teaching (many years back) we went on strike and it actually made me go away from teaching for 3 years. It was a brutal experience that I never want to experience again. That is why 8 years ago I started to teach internationally and honestly I don't think I'll ever go back to Canada. Having 3 full time tech teachers, a significant budget, no threat of strikes and a school willing to experiment and try new tools is something I don't ever want to give up. Good luck in BC. Hope it all works out soon.

Reply
Victoria Olson link
9/26/2014 05:03:06 am

Hi Adeel, great to chat again. I can see why you wouldn't want to leave! That's a significant amount of support and consistency that would be hard to walk away from. Things are chugging again in BC schools, but I would say that many are feeling that nothing is truly "business as usual." The political curtain still hangs over us as classes continue to be overcrowded, understaffed, and subsidized by teachers filling the gaps. As much as I do not typically speak my mind on politics, I find it difficult to watch so many of my colleagues struggle with the conditions. Thanks for your well wishes.

Reply
Linda Alsop
10/4/2014 04:16:33 am

Thanks for this authentic and heartfelt post Victoria. I can say that I was able to resonate with much of the experiences you shared regarding the past year and the uncertainty in BC's public education system. Having said that, however, I also want to say that it only takes one 'spark' to get the fire going again. Thanks for being that 'spark' here for all of us.
I have had many moments this past full week in teaching where I have felt my eyes and my heart 'light up' with joy and excitement and passion for teaching once again. When I step back from it all, I think I realize how important working with passionate colleagues means, in terms of us being able to shift our 'mindsets' together, to those which once again inspire, ignite, and engage in us, the intrinsic motivation and passion so many of us as professionals bring to our teaching careers.

Reply
Victoria Olson link
10/5/2014 03:03:24 am

Hi Linda, thanks for commenting and for your kind words, as always. I agree with you that it doesn't take much to re-ignite the flame - once you remember why you are doing this in the first place. However, I still hear many stories from colleagues of the difficulties that they are facing after this drawn out labour dispute, be it morale or continued lack of support for kids. I'm glad that you are finding joy in your classroom this year and I'm really excited to have you on our staff! Together we can make this a great year to help our students and ourselves grow!

Reply
vicky link
8/4/2016 12:42:29 am

It is difficult for me to imagine that Madore will ever change his ways. But I still have hope Pike Most people would argue three strikes and you're out. But Madore ...

Reply
Michael
9/28/2016 09:52:06 am

Thank you for this interesting and moving post. I am a consultant in California, and on occasion work with school districts in a post-strike environment. Would you be willing to share any thoughts you have now, two years later, on what kind of attempts at "healing" worked and didn't work for you? I'm thinking in terms of the kinds of things the employer or the union might attempt in the interest of moving forward after a strike.

Again, thank you for this personal and enlightening post.

Reply



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    A curious and passionate educator in Langley, BC

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